the patterns of your mind

old luce. what more is there to say? after i read about this character, it opened my eyes to a struggle that holden has had throughout the novel -- it took luce to make this struggle evident. when holden met up with luce at the wicker bar, i think he was excited to visit a little of his past, especially after the sour ending to his date with sally. the reason i think holden wanted to meet with luce, was because luce was a guy that holden looked up to, even though he fails to admit it. he got advice from him and could connect to him (not in a flitty way, of course!), so the visit was a way that holden could prove to himself that his past was still his present because of his fear of growing up. at first, holden tried to connect with luce by making jokes about his sex life, because that's what they would talk about when holden attended the whooton school - but, this didn't work too well as holden was shut down by luce's blunt remarks. after these conversation starters failed to initiate an actual conversation, i think holden began to change his views about luce. before, he did look up to him and saw him as a very intellectual man. now, this guy didn't want to talk about girls because he'd matured and wasn't interested in having intellectual conversations with holden. plus, holden became annoyed when luce suggested that he see a psychoanalyst because it seems as if he thinks that going to a person to figure out your own problems are useless. why would you want an analyst, who would be analyzing you based on society's norms, to evaluate whether you're sane or not? anyhow, i think that the reason holden got so drunk after his meeting with luce was because he realized that people grow up. holden isn't going to get out of it - and that's the symbolic meaning luce plays. if a guy like luce, who was just like holden in the past, matures the way he did, then there's no way the same won't happen to holden. that thought scared holden, and as i read further, i figured out that my prediction was right - holden is scared of becoming a phony. he doesn't want to be like society, but because of all the people he's encountered, it seems like the only way to live in this world is to become like them. holden's fears are extremely evident in this passage:

"even if you did go around saving innocent guys' lives and all, how would you know if you did it because you really wanted to save guys' lives, or because you did it because what you really wanted to do was be a terrific lawyer, with everybody slapping you on the back and congratulating you in court when the goddam trial was over, the reporters and everybody, the way it is in the dirty movies? how would you know you weren't being a phony? the trouble is, you wouldn't."

- holden pg. 172

is marriage a lie?

this is my poem for class written in holden's point of view. the red font shows holden's direct quotes from the book (minus the title, of course).

is marriage a lie?

i felt like marrying her the minute i saw her,
wind in her hair like an effortless angel,
her figure adorned with deathly black,
almost tempting me - but is it she that i prefer?
it was a lie of course.

should i follow her? would i be dumb?
she had one of these very loud and embarrassing voices,
i didn't give a damn though,
i'm crazy - i swear to god i am,
all of a sudden i felt like i wanted to marry her,
she was so damn good-looking,
it was a lie of course.

would marriage be sane? correct? normal? perhaps lovely?
lovely my ass.
can a commitment like that last forever?
it starts out when they're young and all,
doubt it grows or ages and doubt love is really true,
i told her i loved her and all,
it was lie of course.

is life planned? map? contract? perhaps destined?
yes; being with someone is the right thing to do,
open your ears - vows tying us down,
making a lot of dough,
stupid shorts and coming attractions,
newsreels and madison avenue buses,
dumb horse races - all those things.

it'd be entirely different - we could have a terrific time!
"c'mon! wuddaya say?" out in the world! the two of us!
i was getting excited as hell,
"don't you want to go with me?"
spur of the moment yet felt right. sane. correct.
i have to admit it - god i'm a madman,
i meant it when i asked her,
it was lie of course.

the best things

"The best thing, though, in that museum was that everything always stayed right where it was. Nobody'd moved. You could go there a hundred thousand times, and that Eskimo would still be just finished catching those two fish, the birds would still be on their way south, the deers would still be drinking out of that water hole, with their pretty antlers and their pretty, skinny legs, and that squaw with the naked bosom would still be weaving that same blanket. Nobody'd be different. The only thing that would be different would be you. Not that you'd be so much older or anything. It wouldn't be that, exactly. You'd just be different, that's all.

- Holden, page 121

Holden says these words as he recalls his visits to the Museum of Natural History. He describes the glass cases with Indians inside or the Eskimo you'd pass by if you were walking by the auditorium. It seems as if Holden feels a bit somber, realizing how much he's grown up when he says this, and perhaps his distance from Phoebe is making him even more upset. To me, it seems as if this passage explains why Holden gets so frustrated with phonies. He doesn't like change. Holden appreciates when life is consistent and more importantly, when people (more specifically, his close ones) act the same way. I think it makes it easier for him to read them; if they constantly change themselves, Holden no longer feels comfortable being around them because he doesn't know how to act or what to say. When Holden mentions that you would be the only thing changing, I find it ironic that he still appears to be against conformity or in some type of adaptation to other people. It seems like he really let his true feelings about change out in this passage compared to the many statements we read about how phonies and their annoyance to him in the book. Holden is just afraid to admit that he has trouble adapting to when people change. A great example of this is when he describes how his brother D.B. was in the army, and hated it, but then he gave Holden a book about the army and said that it was terrific. This passage is especially important, because now readers understand a bit of Holden's real feelings that he hasn't admitted bluntly in the book for further reading. His touch of vulnerability shows readers a different side of him, which can help us make deeper analyses of Holden as the story progresses.

holden caulfield or jim steele?

after i read through chapter fifteen, i began to realize a deeper meaning to holden's actions. when i thought about how much holden talked to us about girls and how little he actually talked to them in person, or his many encounters with random people who got to know him as some made-up character, though highly amused with his endless babbling of nonsense, i came to the conclusion that he lives in two worlds. his own, of course, and society.

what he does in society is stay low; he doesn't care what people think, he just wants to get on with his life. nothing in society can make him or break him, whatever he wants to do, he does. however, he manages to act in society as someone else. his guarded personality and great imagination create his many personas and he feels perfectly comfortable chatting up a storm with strangers - as long as they don't know who the real holden is. on the other hand, the lone world that holden lives in, is the majority of what we read about. we see holden's sensitive side and gain the knowledge of his desires and fears; something that none of the other characters in the book really experience. nobody other than the readers really know that he is a virgin and said no to the prostitute (well, other than the prostitute and the elevator man) or that he's still grieving over his brother's untimely death. nobody understands that holden has so much compassion for his little sister, phoebe, or that he thinks movies suck. people only see holden's facade and perhaps this is the reason why they generalize or stereotype him the way he says they do. anyhow, this shows me that holden wants these two worlds separate. he loves his fantasy world, where everything he tells us is the truth. holden doesn't want to become involved in society because he's scared of what might happen if he does. he sees life differently than the rest of us and until we read more, it's unclear to me whether he'll let these two worlds collide.

hello, my name is phony.

phonies. when i think about how holden describes those around him, the only word that comes to mind is 'phonies.' each chapter we've read has some mention of this word, and while i can understand holden's point of view, i wonder why this description is so evident. is this just holden emphasizing his dislike for 'fake' people? could there be something in his past that triggered this hatred? or, does j.d. salinger want readers to see these 'phonies' as a symbolic meaning? it seems as if the people who are labeled as 'phonies' all have a common goal; to achieve success. however, the key fact, is that they change themselves to do so. each person, whether it's stradlater or old haas, puts on a front in front of those who 'matter' so that they get farther in life. perhaps this is why holden feels so against them... maybe holden believes that you should be able to achieve something in life by being yourself? i think that he just wants people to stop being what they're not, or hiding their true selves; in other words, he's tired of seeing people that scream, "hello, my name is phony."

ducks and holden

lone⋅ly 1. lone; solitary; without company; companionless

if lonely is to be 'without company' or 'companionless,' why does holden fit this character? wherever holden goes, there are people. people who, i'm sure are willing to be his friend. people who will put up with his tap-dancing fetishes. and, people who want holden to succeed. if there are people like this around holden, then why does he run away. why does he want to be like those ducks that escape whenever something bad comes along? is holden afraid of getting too close to someone? i think that his closeness to allie scares him. he became close to someone and out of nowhere that person was snatched away from holden's life. for whatever reason, it seems like life is easier spent trying to dodge obstacles than face them to holden.

i'm a big kid now

when does someone become an adult? does it just happen? or do you grow into the person you become when you are older? maybe, all it takes to become an adult is an experience.

as i finished reading this week's chapters, i began thinking about when a person officially becomes an adult. i contemplated the many aspects of life and came to the conclusion that we all become adults at different times. there is no ONE thing that happens to every one of us that can make us ALL become adults. in the context of "the catcher in the rye," i believe that holden becomes an adult when his brother passes away. from what the novel says, it seems as if holden was not very close to the brother in hollywood, however, he seems to have been quite attached to allie. after all, holden says nothing but positive things to describe him. after his brother died, it was as if holden was the eldest, and this transition drove him to break all of the windows in his garage. he was overwhelmed with grief and realized that now, there was no one older than him; nobody to guide you, support you, or look up to the way he did with allie. the position allie was no longer existed and for holden to realize that life doesn't come and go at a scheduled time, it took a great level of maturity on his part to deal with this tragedy. in this way, all it took for holden to become an adult was an experience, and that one experience changed his life.

sympathetic, empathetic, or judgmental?

at the beginning of this novel, i really believed that like most of us, holden caulfield was very judgmental. the remarks he made about people and their personalities, appearances, and flaws/achievements seemed as if he was critiquing their lives in front of us. for every person we were introduced to, there were many statements that portrayed them based on holden's opinions rather than who they really were. a great example of this was with old spencer. holden put this old, hairy, smelly, coughing man in our minds before we read them conversing. for me, the whole environment changed and i interpreted who spencer was differently then i probably would have without those statements. i saw holden as this cynical teenager who wasted his time judging others to create reasons for why he didn't want to be like them.

though this perception was in my mind at the beginning of the novel, around the 4th and 5th chapters, i really began to see a different side of holden that completely changed my perception. after i read about allie and the impact he had on holden, i realized that holden was just sympathetic. after watching his brother who he described as extremely intelligent, nice to everyone, and never mad, die, i think holden wanted to become like his brother almost. he was able to see that while many people have flaws, sometimes they deserve more than they get and that 's why he feels so outraged about "phonies" and "hotshots." they have the popularity factor and tehy get so much more credit than others do because of it. holden tries to sympathesize with those who don't get that positive attention, much like himself. at the end of the 5th chapter, when describing ackley, holden shows this sensitive side. he says: "that guy had just about everything. sinus trouble, pimples, lousy teeth, halitosis, crumby fingernails. you had to feel a little sorry for the crazy sonuvabitch."